Ouch.

Well slap my ass and call me Suzy, how could I be so forgetful. Yesterday I completely forgot to mention the Circuits, who kindly guestlisted me to go and see them play about a week or so ago, and it was wonderful. Benny, your braces did an outstanding job of holding your pants up.

Last night I went to see Kate Nash. That girl is just super cool. She played this different guitar based version of Caroline’s a Victim and at first I didn’t like it but by the end of the song I liked it better than the original. But enough about her songs and her talent, lets move onto more important issues. She was wearing a totally cute dress and has the best hair I’ve seen on a singer since Jenny Lewis. Actually, they kinda look like sisters, if you think about it.

As I write this, I am thanking the powers that be for creating anaesthetic, as I just had to visit the dentist again. I swear, if I knew eating that ice cube like 3 years ago that made my back tooth crack would cause this much hassle, I wouldn’t have bothered. Right now I can’t feel any pain as I’m still numb, but I also can’t speak properly and I keep having to check the mirror to make sure I don’t have a fat lip, which I never do, but that’s exactly what it feels like. Although this is the good part, as in about 25 minutes it will wear off and Numb’s evil cousin, Excruciating Pain, comes in to join the party. Even weirder, after I left the dentist I text Bam to tell her it felt like I had ‘mump face’ (about a year ago, I got mumps, and my face ballooned so much that for 10 days I looked like an extra from The Nutty Professor. Out of all my friends, Bam found it the funniest by far. She even had a picture of my face on her phone) and she was on her way to get a filling too. Freaky. Either that’s a crazy coincidence, or me and my friends just eat too many sweets and ice cubes.

I JUST saw the final episode of Skins afew days ago. For anyone who hasn’t seen it yet, look away now.



How much did you jump when Tony got hit by that truck?!

Allen.

The last few weeks have been all over the place, but I think I’m finally regaining a sense or normality. I think it was with the onset of Spring, it always makes me nervous. Will we have a typical April Showers spring or will the sun finally show his face? And lo and behold, the latter happened, beer gardens have been reopened and I’m happy again.

St Patricks day was a lark. I walked around telling people I wasn’t really that drunk, and truly believed it, when the reality of the situation was that I was absolutely steaming. I went dressed as Ireland and was found fast asleep on the sofa the next morning using my Guinness hat as a pillow and my flag as a blanket. Bless me.

Work was bad, in the sense that I’m pretty sure I was almost fired, but things turned around and I’m still here. But the whole experience left me in dire need of some Big Fat Gemma Hugs, so I went to Chester. We watched the little Mermaid, ate jelly and jaffa cakes and placed 2 toy monkeys into obscene positions whilst killing ourselves laughing. At 2AM, this kind of stuff is hilarious. After watching the Little Mermaid, we watched the documentary about it afterwards (after being completely disappointed by the DVD’s so-called ‘games and activities’ – it was one game, and you couldn’t do anything except sit and look at it) and they kept talking about how for the movie they had to change the original ending. The big dork that I am, I couldn’t rest until I found out what the original ending was, and I found out that in the book Eric doesn’t fall in love with her and the mermaid DIES! How awful! If they had made the film with that ending, me and every other girl who is my age would have spent their early years deeply, deeply traumatised.

Back in Manchester, my sister and Rachel somehow convinced me that going to Zoo with them would be a good idea. I agreed, and was doing fine on the way up there until I walked inside – the DJ was playing *NSYNC and Rachel was desperately trying to convince me to stay, (‘it’s not the music, it’s the people!’) so I stocked up on alcohol at the bar, got blind drunk and ended up having the time of my life (a song they later played). I was so hammered I almost ended up sleeping in my car, but my sister rescued me and I ended up sleeping for about 12 hours in Rachel’s oh so comfy bed.

Around this time, I found out Ryan Adams is playing 2 days after my birthday at Stonehenge. I will be doing everything in my power to be at that show.

Speaking of my birthday, it is now only 9 weeks away. The theme is now officially set and it’s going to be a killer. Keep the weekend of June 2nd/3rd free!

Then afew nights ago, the lovely Nick sorted me and Sam out to go and see Foals again. I LOVE FOALS! They were brilliant, as always. In Nick’s immortal words, watching them play live ‘makes you shit yourself’ as they are THAT good. Apparently they have just blown everyone away at SXSW and the NME is now a good 5 centimetres up their arse so expect to hear lots, lots more about them in the coming weeks. And if you haven’t been to see them yet after all the praise I shower on them, then shame on you. Shame indeed. After Foals had played, The Young Knives came on, and seeing as I hate that band, me and Sam escaped to the bar. I am so glad we did, as about 7 minutes later, the drunkest dude I have ever seen fell off his chair. It was amazing.

Tonight I am going to see Kate Nash. She’s really pretty and talented so it could go one of two ways – I will stay sober and think ‘Wow, good for her’ and really appreciate her talent, or I will get horribly drunk and sit seething with jealousy.

Can I also take this time to say that Incubus are useless for cancelling their entire UK tour due to a ‘wrist injury’. Put a bandage on and get on with it, you big girl!

Also, Glastonbury tickets go on sale this Sunday, so I want everyone to pray for me, Katy and Sophie, as we have to get tickets, as I have to see Ryan Adams and Katy has to see Chemical Brothers or both of us will sink into a deep depression which won’t be pleasant for anyone.

Bangs.

This weekend was entirely uneventful. I’m still ill. Even my deep seated love for mass alcohol consumption had to be put on hold on Saturday night as I just felt like I couldn’t even breathe or walk anymore. I’m sure I’m just in the full throngs of a typical British cold, and that I’m not actually dying, as I thought I was on Saturday, but still, it’s highly unpleasant.

I could feel it coming on all last week, so made the sensible decision to stay home on Friday night. Friday afternoon I went to stock up for said staying in, as I knew I would be in the house all alone so would need some entertainment. I managed to somehow spend £6 on 2 boxes of strawberries in Tescos merely because they were ‘organic’ (by the time I realised I was at the self scan and there was no way I was changing them over then. They also tasted no different whatsoever) and was delighted to see the £5 Ben and Jerrys offer was back on, so stocked up and headed to Blockbuster.

As we all know good and well, I’m a complete film geek. Selecting 3 films to watch over a weekend is a serious challenge for me. It often involves a notepad and the IMDB. Anyway, I decided I wanted to watch films I had never seen before. Step 1 complete. I then decided to go for movies that had been in the cinema, that I had wanted to watch, but had missed. After about 20 minutes, I had A Scanner Darkly and Marie Antoinette in my hand. You get a third free, so I went for Down In The Valley, for two reasons – Ed Norton was in it, and I had never heard of it. I hoped it would be good, paid, and went home. I was completely home alone so started watching them right away, and managed to get through all 3 before midnight.

Marie Antoinette is complete balls. It’s boring and boring and a little more boring. Don’t bother with it.

A Scanner Darkly was good, but marred by the fact that I had absolutely NO idea what the hell was going on. It’s set afew years into the future and 20% of the US population is addicted to a drug called Death, and I was getting it for the first 45 minutes, but then it got weird and I have no clue what the ending was supposed to mean. If anyone has seen it and got it, let me know!

Down In The Valley was fab. A little slow, but great. Ed Norton is this deluded 30-something man who thinks he’s a cowboy. He meets a young girl (Evan Rachel Wood) and they fall for each other. But he gets a little weird and obsessed, and… okay, I was about to divulge the plot but I wont, incase anyone wants to see it. Which you all should.

Anyways, I then fell asleep instantly, leaving the remains of my Phish Food on the table, which had turned to mush the next day. I was devastated.

Saturday I was still alone in the house. I can only stand my own company for so long until I get bored, and at around 3 the boredom had reached high levels so I decided to cut my own hair. It’s pretty uneven all over and no doubt my hairdresser will kick my arse, but it kept me entertained. That night I went out with Gemma, but felt ill again. The rumours are not true, Sambucca doesn’t help a bad throat, so I went home. When I got in I couldn’t even get up the stairs so collapsed onto the sofa, where I then stayed until about 10pm Sunday night, only getting up to put American History X on, as I am in the middle of an Ed Norton ‘thing’ (incase you hadn’t guessed) and it’s also like my 3rd favourite movie of all time. I still cry at the end, even though I know what’s coming. I’m a dork.

ANYWAYS this morning I am back in work. It’s a slow Monday so the internet it keeping me entertained. On my usual visit to IMDB, I noticed a familiar name – Joseph Gordon-Levitt. If you don’t care much for independent cinema, you will probably only know him as that kid from 3rd Rock From The Sun. If you do care, you will adore him for his performances in Mysterious Skin (totally in my Top 20 films of all time) and Brick. Anyways, it turns out he has his own website. To be honest, its kinda boring, but he talks about recording music. Hopefully he won’t get the same slating poor Jared Leto did when he releases a CD. If you’re remotely interested, the web address is: http://www.hitrecord.org/

Well, back to work…

Cough

Last night, me and Clair went to see The Illusionist. It's ace. Definitly go and see it. Edward Norton does all his own tricks. Normally, I would go on about why I thought it was such a good film, but there is a much more pressing issue here - Ed Norton is a total babe feature. I mean, he was grade A man flesh in his Fight Club and AHX days, but they were made forever ago, so it was just lovely to see that even now hes all grown up, he’s still packing heat. He needs to lose the beard, though.

We went to the early show, so were still home in time to see ER and Skins. More man flesh. I forget his name, but the doctor currently romancing that other doctor that was in Bend it like Beckham (I’m really terrible with names) is very pretty. I didn’t really follow the storyline last night though. Partly because I was only half watching it. Anyways, then it was Skins time (is it terrible of me to find Tony fit?? I mean, I know hes only 17 and he kinda sorta looks like Count Duckula, but you still would, right?) - I totally love this show. Although now poor Syd has discovered he cant get it up infront of Michelle, and Cassie has decided shes not having sex anymore AND has a new boyfriend at the mental institution, so who the hell is he gonna have sex with now? Maybe Tony. I mean, he did go down on Matt, so you couldn’t put it past him. Seriously, best TV show ever.

It’s finally Friday, but I’m still ill, so I think it’s gonna be a quiet weekend. Unless Gemma comes home, in which case it’ll be tequilas until dawn.

Rain, rain, go away

I have a cold. It's one of those nasty ones that comes fully accompanied with a bad throat, too. Apparently you feed a cold, but I cant eat. So instead, I'm pill popping and drinking that horrendous lemon water. I really cant wait for summer.

It's self inflicted, though, of course. Yesterday I went into Manchester, in the pouring, freezing rain, without even a coat on. On Friday night, I did the same. Bad, bad Emma.

Friday night was insanely good fun. Me and Sam got the long, gay bus into town (I cant wait to move into my new house, it's like 25 minutes closer to, well, everything) and went into Fab Cafe. Afew hours later, we moved onto Night and Day to see Foals. First, though, was the support band, Bureau, who have a singer that looks like a Morrissey impersonator, and they sound scarily like Duran Duran. Anyways, we saw Nick in there and tormented him as per usual, and before long, Foals were playing. I love Foals. I cant compare them to anyone as they sound like nobody else, although in one song I sometimes hear a litte Q and not U, but Foals are better. They're touring like mad at the moment, so if they come near you be sure to go along. At around 11.30, the set was over and it was time to move onto the house party. Me and Sam waited a little while before we went down, and by the time we got there, there were so many people in the house that they had begun spilling out of the doors and windows. Nick somehow managed to drag us into the living room, where the band were just finishing setting up, and minutes later they started playing, amps and all.

There were seriously about 200 people in the house. By everyones estimations, they shouldnt have gotten through more than 2 songs without the police showing up, but, amazingly, they made it through an entire set. The floor constantly felt like it was going to give way and at one point I heard someone say to a friend 'If we get out of this room alive, it'll be a miracle', but somehow everyone made it through in one piece. After they had played, everyone resumed drinking. There was some rave going on downstairs, but if I stayed in the living room I was getting free beers, so I found somewhere to sit and got comfy. I was introduced to Jimmy, who was drinking out of a Lion Kind mug and smoking roll ups. The look of sheer delight when I offered him a regular cigarette was hilarious. It pains me to watch people fiddling around with roll ups when its not by choice. I also told him that Lager and Lipstick would be ready to go on tour with them in 6 months. A little presumtious, I'm sure you'll agree. Pretty soon, I was out of alcohol and people were leaving, so everyone said their goodbyes and me and Sam went home and slept for Britain.

I have to also add in this conversation I had at the party with someone who's name I have already forgotten:

Guy: So how do you know Nick?

Me: I met him on the Nightmare of You tour.

Guy: Ah, I see. Nightmare of You, what are they, like some metal band?

Me: (laugh) No. Far from it. They have abit of an 80's British sound. Think Smiths.

Guy: Oh right, sorry, the name totally threw me!

I found that so funny. Maybe they should record a Megadeath cover just to keep people on their toes.

Music is my hot hot sex

Confirmed support for Cansei De Ser Sexy's next Manchester show is Tilly and the Wall and RAT:ATT:AGG. This news made me delirious with happiness as I love both bands. It reminded me how much I hate the band name RAT:ATT:AGG, though. I prefer to refer to them as STUPIDEST:BAND:NAME:EVER. Whatever happened to keeping things simple, like The Smiths or The Cure. The only band name I can think of that is more odd than RAT:AT:AGG is the band !!!. I mean, come on. I believe it is pronounced Chk Chk Chk, but as I am not fluent in Egyptian I wouldnt even know how to pronounce that. I sometimes have half a mind to form a band, with no conventional instruments being played, substituting the bass guitar for a roll of cellophane and the drums for a running tap. We would call ourselves %^$""(), which would be pronounced by whistling twice.

Grrrrr

From harpmagazine.com:


Ryan Adams reportedly has his 959th album completed and is eyeing a June 5 release date. It’s to be titled Easy Tiger, and while in the recent past Adams has posted a smorgasbord of diverse and unusual (hip-hop, soul, disco, punk, psychedelic) tracks on the official Ryan Adams website under the fake names Were Wolph, DJ Reggie, Rhoda Rho, the Ghetto Birds and the Shit, at present there’s no indication what form Easy Tiger will take.
In a statement issued awhile back, Adams commented on his seemingly non-stop musical output, saying, “I probably should have took a break, but I don't know. I take a break for a couple of days, or a week, and I start playing. You lose stuff along the way, like girlfriends, your mind, your sense of entitlement. It's very humbling."
Er, right. Theoretical matters of quality control aside, it’s always inspiring to see a musician who’s willing to put his artistic ass on the line and give his muse free public reign. Easy Tiger will be Adams’ fourth album in two years, following 2005’s Cold Roses and Jacksonville City Nights and 2006’s 29.

Hooray!

"I'm a Smiths fan, circa 1986"

I have successfully managed to break the crap out of my camera. My lovely, brand new camera. I shouldnt be allowed to play with expensive toys. First drop - Night and Day cafe. Screen breaks. Second drop - Satans. I apparently fuck up the pixels. I'm completely useless. See, this is why I am never having children.

Regardless, I am still using it. Miraculously, it still takes photos. So when I was stood losing my mind at the front of the Tokyo Police Club show last night, I took tonnes. I'll Flickr them later. The singer looks like this:

I had to post that to prove to everyone (especially Sam) that the singer really is the bastard love child of Danny Jones and Johnny Borrell. Hopefully without a pinch of the arrogance. The show was perfect. It reaffirmed my faith that sometimes, the people who recommend new bands to me really know what they're talking about. They opened with Cheer It On, which was genius, as they then officially had the room hooked for the rest of the night. Live, they sound exactly like they do on CD. Such an incredible talent, especially considering the singer doesnt even look like he has reached the latter end of puberty yet. The show was completely sold out, much to the genuine surprise of the band, proving yet again that us Mancunians are the best people in the world at fishing out the best new bands. It also proves that word of mouth is spreading like wildfire for this band, and it probably wont be long until they are selling out the Academy. The crowd were eating out of the palm of their hands, with a bunch of guys even starting a circle pit. A circle pit! In the Night and Day! It was just excellent. Tokyo Police Club are just so undeniably brilliant that there is no way you can have anything but a great time at their show. If that review isnt enough to make you look them up, go and have a listen to their music here: http://www.myspace.com/tokyopoliceclub.

Yesterday also marked a historic occasion - little Nicky 'my face hurts because I'm smiling so much' Vernon turned 21. On Tuesday night, we all surprised her in Font Bar, dressed head to toe in 80's gear, and then took her to Billie Rox (but not before some drunk crackhound had harassed Jenna outside Spar - apparently wearing a Frankie Says Relax tee-shirt means that her name is Frankie and that she sleeps with her head under a pillow whilst writing poetry about boys. True story). Once inside, we exchanged our shoes for roller boots and got skating. Gems and Lindsay got abit cocky and were doing spins and everything, while I decided to play it safe, and wouldnt go on the rink unless I had someone on either side of me to hold my hand. Diane kept trying to re-enact that Jessica Simpson video. Gemma fell over, and would show anyone who would look her grazed knees at any given opportunity. Nicky burnt a hole in my tights, so we ripped it to make it bigger and then made one on the other leg 'to even things out'. Warwick fell over. Gemma broke Robs gun. We had two Pat Sharpe lookalikes in the form of Vinnie and Alex. Everyone had the best time. There's no way you can have a bad night if you're dressed like an 80's throwback and wearing roller boots. There were even poles up on a stage, which we took full advantage of. Later on, I found an unopened bottle of wine on our table. Assuming some invisible man had put it there for our pleasure, I asked the barstaff to crack it open for us and within minutes the entire bottle was gone. Wine always tastes better when it's free. We then went for some dirt food, and then got a taxi home, during which time Diane kept everyone entertained with stories about Brazillian waxes and lesbians who work as mechanics. I think Diane spoke more in that taxi home than she has done in her entire life. Briliant.

I got home, and rather than do the sensible thing of going to sleep, I decided to watch some TV. Skins was on E4, so I got comfy. I am completely invested in Skins now. I thought the first episode failed to live up to the hype, and pretty much wrote it off, but I keep finding myself watching it every week and now I LOVE it. I love Cassie. And Tony. I have improper thoughts about Tony, which is pretty wrong considering he's only 17 and I was in college when I saw him play that kid in About A Boy. But whatever, he's nice to look at. I also love Syd. He's bound to lose his virginity by the end of the series, and I'm dying to know if it's going to be with Cassie or Michelle. I hope it's with Cassie. I want them to get married. Anyways, in my drunken state I ended up watching the same episode twice (good old E4+1) and fell asleep somwhere between 4 and 5. I woke up to see Sambuca stood on my stomach purring away at 9.30am. That damn cat. When she's awake, you're awake, and she'll hear no different.

So that was my week. Tomorrow I'm going to see Foals, who are another great band people need to hear. They're on at the Night and Day and it's only £5 admission so get yourselves down there. Tomorrow is also Friday, so I shall be celebrating with copius amounts of alcoholic beverages. I love Fridays.