June O'Gorman strikes again...

My mum made me lunch again today. As always, we were sat watching TV...

'Emma, is this Justin Timberlake?'
'No.'
'I'm not very good at this, am I.'
'No.'
'Well who is it then?'
'It's Good Charlotte, mum.'

Kate Gross.

Being ill is no fun at all. I could have gone to see Maximo Park, but was in bed doped up on medication. Then the other night I could have gone to see Sunshine Underground and Foals, but I was in bed doped up on medication. Anyways, I’m finally starting to feel better. Ish. Which is nice, considering the weekend is a stones throw away.

I saw that Kate Moss collection today. Horrible. I have a serious shopping addiction and even I didn’t want to buy any of it. I think Mr Topshop should ask for his money back. The only nice thing was this leather jacket – in May?! It’s boiling outside, who wants to buy a leather jacket? Lily Allens line is out next week and there’s this yellow dress I have my eye on… me and Bam are going shopping straight from work on Wednesday to pick up some brightly coloured dresses and peep toe shoes at a fraction of the prices that coke fiend is charging. Lily Allen over Kate Moss anytime.

The other night, me Rach and Faye went to see Fracture. I guessed the ending so I didn’t rate the story that highly, but that was irrelevant when you got to watch Ryan Gosling in all his acting glory for 2 whole hours. I prefer him with abit more hair, but he’s still a fox. Rachel has since decided she won’t settle for anyone now unless he looks exactly like Ryan Gosling does in grey pants and a white shirt. If anyone has seen the film, you will know which scene I am referring to.

Something with a much, MUCH better storyline at the moment is HOLLYOAKS! I am LOVING the Weird Will storyline, and I loved last nights episode, where Zoe saw Will watching one of his tapes from her room, and Chris and Zac saw all of the videos on his laptop. Too good, I can’t wait to see the next few episodes. Hollyoaks is just the best TV show ever. God bless Northern England.

Last night, I went for afew drinks with everyone for Sammy's birthday, and was told about this 'sauna' in Manchester. Boys only. Nuff said.

On the drive home, my unexpectant ears were treated to a first listen of the new Editors song on the radio, it's fucking brilliant. Go and listen to it. Nuff said.

I wont be seeing you for a long while...

Has anyone ever discovered a band via a Tesco's Florence and Fred advert before?? Thats how I've found Camera Obscura, who make some of the most achingly beautiful music I have ever heard. Look them up. Good call, Tescos...

So, I've been struck down with flu. Until afew hours ago, I hadnt left my bed for the best part of 36 hours. I'm all achy and hot and shaky and if it wasnt for the fact Katy still doesnt have a damn phone so I can only contact her via a computer, I would not be looking at this screen. It hurts my head. Yet here I am, blogging in the middle of a bout of flu. I must be mad.

Last night, after seeing the advert for it for weeks, Equilibrium was finally shown on Film4. I've been wanting to see that movie for so long, so I kept telling myself 'Just try and stay awake, close your eyes in the adverts, you'll get through it...' - the last thing I remember happening is those police type things who's faces are always covered by those helmet things finding the puppy in Prestons car. And then I woke up and it was today. I was really getting into it though, as much as I could with a high fever and a days worth of pain killers in my system, so I might just go out and buy it.

Today is the best I've felt all week, but the last 2 days I have just on/off slept all day long. In the hours I've been awake, all I've done is watch documentaries. There was one on Louise Woodward (remember her?), and it had been made in America. At one point, the narrator said 'Louise grew up in Elton, about 150 miles north of London'. So NOWHERE NEAR London then?! Honestly, it's like to America, England is London and then just a bunch of fields and countryside.

Anyways, Maury is on, so that's my cue to turn this thing off, get back into bed and find out what messed up American teenagers are being sent to Boot Camp this week.

Broke.

My mother is very funny. Not as funny as Rachel’s, but almost. The other day she text me to say she was making me lunch, so I went round during work and we were both just sat watching TV. I can’t stand watching adverts, so I flicked over to MTV2. Cue my mother saying:
‘Is this Boyzone?’
‘No.’
‘Who is it?’
‘It’s Funeral For A Friend, mum.’
‘Oh, right.’
I just stared at her in disbelief for afew seconds and then killed myself laughing.





Thursday night was effing hilarious. After managing to lose my way (and my mind) trying to get to the MEN Arena, me and Katy were eventually sat in our amazing practically-sat-on-the-stage seats, beers in hand, waiting for Taking Back Sunday to play (we timed our journey perfectly so that we missed Aiden’s entire set. I know, shame). Of course, it was taking the usual 2 weeks to set up the stage, and to pass the time they had this big screen in the middle of the arena, where you would text in a message and it would then flash up, to the sheer delight of whatever young child sent it. The place was full of young children. All wearing the same god awful SAVE THE RAVE TopShop tee shirt. Why, just why? Anyways, before long, up flashed ‘SCREAM IF YOU LOVE GERARD WAY!’. The screams were deafening, so much so I had to put my head in between my legs. Katy was totally screaming, though. Afew more ridiculous text message’s later (including ‘SCREAM IF YOU LOVE SHEEP’) and TBS finally came on. We got up and danced around, laughing at Adam’s usual church preacher routine, Katy continuously screaming ‘I LOVE YOU’ every time Matt ventured towards her and I kept trying to decide what animal Adam looked like (it’s either a seal or a cocker spaniel). 30 minutes later and they were done, but I had officially had my fill of the screaming girls, so we left and went to Ruby Lounge. Which is apparently a nude lapdancing club on it’s regular nights, but the boobs were ushered away that night in favour of the aftershow. I’d never been there before but it was a great place, lots of big sofas and cheap drinks to keep us entertained. Before long, Steve Dan and Gaz came to meet us with some friends. The Jagerettes were there and even though we weren’t even drinking Jagermeister we still managed to get some free crap that made us look like we’d just walked the strip in Magaluf. Lots of drinking, dancing and chatting later, it was time to go home. Me and Katy prayed we wouldn’t be mugged as we headed through Piccadilly at 1.30am but we managed to make it through unscathed, and I made it home in time to give me a solid 4 hours sleep before I had to be up again…

The night before that I went to my sister’s barbeque, and I may or may not have eaten meat to see what it tastes like. I promise, that’s the last time I do that.

I got love for you if you were born in the 80's

Considering how much I love the 80’s, I should like that song. But I don’t. I actually can’t stand it.

The other night, I felt old for the first time since that time afew weeks ago when some middle aged women started chatting to me in Tescos LIKE I WAS ONE OF THEM. I brushed it off and assumed they were drunk, but then the other night me and Gemma went for afew beverages of the adult kind in Spoons. A lot of that place is still smokers friendly, so we bagged a table and I indulged in my two favourite pastimes – smoking and drinking. There was a table full of 17/18 year olds next to us being highly annoying, but we ignored them. Anyway, before long, it was my turn to go to the bar, so off I went. Whilst I was gone, Gemma heard the following conversation happen at the Kids Table:

Annoying child Number 1: ‘Can you smoke in here?’
Annoying child Number 2: *points to where I was sat* ‘That lady was a minute ago.’

LADY??!! Gemma thought it was hilarious but I wanted to smack the little mongrel around the head and tell him he was grounded. I can’t believe teenagers are referring to me as a lady. Horrendous.

Tomorrow night, I’m working for Taking Back Sunday. I didn’t read the small print, however, which states that I will also be in the same building as Aiden and lostprophets. If I make it out alive, I’ll tell you all about it.

Jason's gonna getcha...

It’s Friday the 13th. All over England, school kids in first year will be absolutely shitting themselves, on this day, infamously renamed ‘Sprog Bashing Day’ by the bullies of days gone by, turning it into a cruel yet hilarious tradition. Heads will be flushed down toilets, wedgies will be given in the canteen, tampons will be thrown at boys heads on the bus, but remember kids, it’ll make you a stronger person when you’re older. Plus, afew years later you get to do it to all the new kids yourself.

The weather is nice again (hurrah!) just in time for the weekend. It has, of course, been nice all week, but when I am stuck in work I choose to ignore that. As it was so lovely, me and Gems decided to take a walk up to the pub on Wednesday night. This ‘lovely idea’ later turned sour when my new sandals decided that they hated my feet and wanted to see them suffer, slowly, but I drank through the pain and just made sure we got a taxi home. I hate sandals. I’m gonna take them back into Urban Outfitters and slap the manager around the face with them.

Yesterday, the day seemed to last forever. I remember noticing the time at 1.37 and wondering how the hell it was only 1.37 when it felt like I had been awake for about 11 hours. Through some untold miracle, 5pm finally arrived. I flew home, ate my food so fast I could taste nothing except the burning of my upper mouth, and then went to go pick up Katy. Moments later, we were in town, all ready to go and see Foals. We get to the door at the Roadhouse, Katy laughs as I do my ‘Erm, guestlist’ move and we’re just about to saunter inside when the guy on the door says ‘Oh, you do know Foals aren’t on until midnight tonight?’
‘What?’
‘Yeah, we have two shows on tonight. Are you from Manchester?’
‘Yes.’
‘Ah, go in then, you may aswell watch this show aswell.’
‘Who is it?’
‘Murder By Death.’
Our instant thoughts of ‘Midnight?!!’ were soon gone, as afew songs into MBD’s set we were hooked. It was such a nice surprise. I loved them.

HOURS (and many drinks) later, it was finally time for Foals. Ah, Foals. How I love them. Without any questionable doubt, they are the best new band in Britain. I’ve seen them, like, 4 times, maybe 5, this year already, and I just cannot get enough. I’ve gone on about them enough now for everyone to have at least looked at their myspace, and if you haven’t even done that yet, slap yourself and do it right now. I think last night was my favourite time seeing them, which is weird, as I normally hate the Roadhouse. People have asked me before what they sound like, and it’s such a hard question to answer, because they don’t sound like anyone, but I have always said ‘kinda like Q and not U, on speed’ and then Katy summed it up pretty well last night by saying ‘They’re on the same wavelength as the Longcut, only way, WAY better’. They were brilliant. EVERYONE danced (there wasn’t a single person stood still), clapped and whistled. I also laughed at Nick and his diet of Rocky bars and apples. Tasty, yes, but pretty unfulfilling. Katy was getting progressively drunk, but it was just hilarious, especially when she noticed one of the Murder By Death boys watching the show and taking a huge liking to him. She used the free Foals badges that we were giving away as her ‘in’, had a little chat with him and came back with a ginormous smile on her face. They finished at around 1, I acquired an apple for the drive home, and then off we went. There really is no better way to spend an evening. If my memory serves me correctly, they are back on May 1st. If you don’t go and see them then, I won’t be your friend anymore.

Oh, and incase you need another reason to love Foals, just look at their video:



Hilarious.

Suit's you...

Remember when Johnny Depp was in the Fast Show? Me too.

'He looks terrified...'

One day, I want to be making enough money to only have to work 3 days a week, as 4 day weekends are truly the way forward. I'm not big on Christianity myself, but I have to thank it for Easter.

On Thursday night my nearest and dearest came over with cheap wine from Spar. We had an egg hunt and became fully engrossed in 'My Big Boobs And Me' on BBC3. We called 86355 take aways but noone would deliver as it was too late, so me and Gemma made a full loafs worth of toast, ate the lot and then KO'd. Me and Soph talked about Glasto, me and Bam talked about casinos, and all I said to everybody else was 'Jeeesus, look at the size of hers! I'm surprised she doesnt fall over.'

On Friday, me, Vik and Rachel went to Platt Fields. We had a picnic that was, inevitably, ruined by dogs, ate ice creams, perved on the skateboarders and went for a boat ride. It was lovely. We then went for bevvies, where we perved on more young attractive men (the sun brings them all out of hiding) and then met up with Faye and Gemma to go and see Blades of Glory. Which is very funny, by the way (Gemma - 'BOOM!'). We then went for greasy take out food, went back to mine, watched the Charlotte Church Show (Faye - 'Get over yourself, you were only in Skins') and eventually fell asleep.

Saturday - Me and Gemma went shopping for my new glasses (which are BEAutiful) and then went shopping for everything else. The beautiful boy who works in Urban Outfitters made our afternoon, and at 5ish we bought some food and went for a wee picnic in Picadilly Gardens. No cute boys there, but still. We then went home, had naps (shopping and perving can really take it out of a girl), woke from said naps, I dyed my hair, then got dressed up all pretty and went to play out. We had a party to go to, but got so involved in our games of Ring of Fire that we didnt get to the party until half past midnight. Saw lots of people from school and college that I hadnt seen in years, drank lots of wine, danced around, the usual. I then noticed that Sarah was lying motionless on a sofa, muttering something about leaves and that she was 'gonna puke' if she moved, so we slowly got her up and took her home. Hilarious.

Sunday, me and Gemma were attacked by a fly and a hornet, both of which drove us inside away from the sunshine squealing like 8 year olds. Later, I met up with Vik, Rach and Faye and headed into Manchester. Some guy in Sainsburys asked the cashier if using Lynx really makes girls say 'Boom chicka wa waaa' and I killed myself laughing about it all night. Anyways, we went to Overdraught but at 8 there was already a queue for the Foam Party, so we went and sweet talked Keith into letting us in. For free, too. We can be pretty cheeky if we reckon we can get away with it. I drank ridiculous amounts and dont remember much past about 11 but I remember having a ball. Foamy fun is great.

Today, our killer picnic was marred by the sodding rain, so instead we piled into the car, went for lunch, made this:



and then went to Manchesters finest (and free) art galleries and museums. I sometimes forget what hidden treasures Manchester holds. Here are things that I learned today:

1. You can have alot more fun in an Art Gallery than one would think.
2. You can have even more fun in a Museum.
3. Orange frogs that are the size of a penny can reduce absolutley anybody into a cooing 'Awwwwwww!' type state.
4. T-Rex's really werent actually that big.
5. Gecko's will have sex infront of anybody.
6. Dubbing Gecko sex is probably the funniest thing in the world to do.
7. The kids activity room is, by no means, just fun for kids.
8. Mummys are scary.
9. Young children are even scarier.

Once we were all educated, we went off to Big Hands for a while, where we noticed someone had defaced every single poster in there by drawing a cock in inappropriate places, had afew drinks and then went home, where I cleaned and then watched the worlds most terrible TV programme on Kerrang just because it was being hosted by Sophie Dahl, sorry, Gerard Way. I think it was called '101 Damnations: Rocks Biggest Hellraisers with My Chemical Romance'. You can imagine some of the crap I had to sit through. Things I learned:

1. The singer in Aiden is truly offensive and I hope I never have to look at him ever again.
2. Gerard Way doesnt really say much.
3. The curly haired ginger one actually is Angry Kid in human form.

And that show finished all of 5 minutes ago, so here I am. In about 4 minutes I will go and drink some water (stage one in the cleansing process after the amount of booze that has recently run through my blood stream) and will then sleep sleep sleep.

I hope everyones weekend was super.

My Chemical Romarse

Don't get me wrong, I like My Chemical Romance. But Romany doesnt. And they're just so damn easy to make fun of. So without further ado, let me present to you...

The Amazing Adventures of Gerrr-arrrse!

'Arms up, young man'



'Final hair check... white face, black eyes, check... looking goood, G Man'



'Okay, roll me out!'



'Man, the kids are gonna love this.'





AND THE CROWD GOES WILD!



[NB - Check the girl second in from the right. Priceless.]

Easy, tiger.

I cant wait until June 5th.

My Angry Romance

It's just uncanny.

Pansy.

I was driving home from work today listening to Radio One, and they announced that tonight at 7pm they were playing the live feed from the My Chemical Romance show. ‘Sure’ I thought to myself, ‘they’re over here on that massive arena tour.’ Mr Lowe then came on, saying that it was actually a special one off show at Camden’s KOKO club, and I suddenly wished I lived 2 hours south as I would LOVE to go and see them in that little club.

Years, like, a good few years ago now, I was walking past the night and day and saw a sign on the door that said ‘My Chemical Romance TONIGHT - £5’ and I remembered hearing the name so thought I would go in and watch. The singer was off his tits on something and noone inside really knew who they were bar about 20 kids down at the front who were going sick. They stuck in my head, so when they played Hop and Grape afew months later, I went along, but unlucky for everyone involved it was the night before my 19th birthday (Christ, so nearly 3 years ago! How time flies…) and I think I was even more fucked than Gerard was that night. I ended up spending the entire show sat on the floor, until they played Our Lady Sorrows which I loved, so jumped up, grabbed Sam and dragged her down to the front. Anyways, not long after, TCFSR came out, and they all threw away everything in their wardrobes that wasn’t black, white or red, and invested in some bullet proof vests. The first time they hit our shores with that album was on a support slot with TBS. Anyone who was at that Manchester show will tell you that MCR blew TBS off the fucking stage. It was a fairly small stage in the Academy, and they just came on and played until their fingers bled for 30 minutes and then left. If that’s the way that band had stayed, I would still absolutely adore them. Like, after that show, up to last summer, I saw them play another 10 times. But they’re a little too theatrical for me these days. But to have to chance to see them at KOKO is just too much. I’m horribly jealous of anyone who’s going.

While I’m on the subject of bands who are all the kids faves these days but noone gave a shit about afew years ago, I’m going to move on to exhibit B – Fall Out Boy. I got to thinking about them this weekend, when I found out that Tony Lovato (who isn’t in FOB himself, but stay with me) from Mest has been arrested for murder. Me and Sam once met Tony; Pete Wentz introduced us. I started thinking about how crazy it is that about 4 years ago, me and Sam went to a bar with Pete and Joe from Fall Out Boy. A busy bar, aswell, and noone in there batted an eyelid. We also later played with Hulk toys and drank Irn Bru together. Lovely chaps, they were, back in the old days. Tony Lovato was an arrogant prick, though.

Mel Gibson.

I have to tell you about this weird yet hilarious dream I had last night. Me and my sister were in Cheadle Village because I wanted to buy some of that new Heaven chocolate, so we get to the car park, and my sister (who doesn’t even drive) is driving a red Corsa and we start getting the feeling that someone is watching us. We get out of the car and Ricky from the Kaiser Chiefs appears out of nowhere and starts chasing us saying he’s going to kill us. We get in the car and drive away but he chases us. Then we see Rachel, she gets in and takes us to a hiding place. After a while we think its safe to get out of the car, but lo and behold Ricky reappears so Vikki and Rachel get back in the car but there’s no time for me so they drive off just telling me to ‘run’ (thanks guys) but then I see an empty car to my right, get in and drive off. Ricky chases me on a Vespa but I manage to lose him and get home. So yeah, now I have another reason to hate the Kaiser Chiefs.

On Friday night, I went round to Katy’s. She wouldn’t let me listen to Ryan Adams so every time she left the room I put Gold on. I don’t think she liked it. As a compromise, we put on some Sigur Ros, drank some wine and then went to Overdraught. We drank and danced and then moved onto Satans, and everything gets blurry from this point. I definitely know Jen and Alex were in there, and saw lots of other people I hadn’t seen for ages, but I don’t really remember anything I did or said while I was there. To be truly honest, after the first few drinks in there the next thing I remember is waking up the next morning. All in all, signs of a damn good night.

On Saturday, I went to the opticians. I was hangover free but must have smelt like a brewery. My optician was nice enough not to say anything, though. Anyways, I have bad eyes, and she has suggested now that I wear glasses a lot more regularly, to which I replied ‘I don’t actually wear them at all’ (forgetting that the last time I went I was told to buy some – oops) so I had my hands slapped and then got straight onto the Dior eyewear website! I’m not sure which ones to get yet but it’s all very exciting. The rest of the day was spent watching the Crime and Investigation channel (which might actually be the best channel ever) and sleeping intermittently all day long. Geek? Me?

On Sunday, I did more sleeping and then some room sorting (I move out pretty soon and there’s no way I can take all my junk with me) and followed this with more sleeping. Then at about 6 I went round to Vik and Rachel’s, and we were soon joined by Faye, for some Sunday night drinking. First stop, Orange Grove. I think the DJ thought it was midnight on a Friday because our quiet drink somehow started turning into a rave. We did the very old lady chats (‘You can barely hear yourself think in this place’) and decided to move on to Cheshire for the pub quiz. The second we stepped through the door, we started laughing and didn’t stop. From Vikki’s comment about the fig rolls (which is only funny if you were there, but for us it was hilarious) to Rachel spitting her drink all over the table, to our appalling performance in the quiz (we came joint last) it was just so funny. At question 1 we knew we weren’t going to win, no matter how much we cheated (which we did, lots) so after a while we just started stating the obvious. My personal favourites of the night were:

Q. What is the drummer from the Fratellis known as?
Our answer: The drummer from the Fratellis.

Q. Who played the lead male role in Who Framed Roger Rabbit?
Our answer: Roger.

Q. What are the 3 parts that make up an insect?
Our answer: Head, body, legs.

We also had a lot of fun in the picture round, where we just described the picture rather than say who it was a picture of (rather than write ‘David Tennant’ we wrote ‘A lady in a long jacket’) and after arguing over Mel Gibson, we came out with a score of 13 out of 50, which we actually saw as quite an achievement. We then went home, watched Nightmare on Elm Street and then everybody called it a night.

Oh, and everybody managed to get Glastonbury tickets! Which is just the most exciting thing ever. Me and Katy already have all our outfits planned.

Four Winds

Ouch.

Well slap my ass and call me Suzy, how could I be so forgetful. Yesterday I completely forgot to mention the Circuits, who kindly guestlisted me to go and see them play about a week or so ago, and it was wonderful. Benny, your braces did an outstanding job of holding your pants up.

Last night I went to see Kate Nash. That girl is just super cool. She played this different guitar based version of Caroline’s a Victim and at first I didn’t like it but by the end of the song I liked it better than the original. But enough about her songs and her talent, lets move onto more important issues. She was wearing a totally cute dress and has the best hair I’ve seen on a singer since Jenny Lewis. Actually, they kinda look like sisters, if you think about it.

As I write this, I am thanking the powers that be for creating anaesthetic, as I just had to visit the dentist again. I swear, if I knew eating that ice cube like 3 years ago that made my back tooth crack would cause this much hassle, I wouldn’t have bothered. Right now I can’t feel any pain as I’m still numb, but I also can’t speak properly and I keep having to check the mirror to make sure I don’t have a fat lip, which I never do, but that’s exactly what it feels like. Although this is the good part, as in about 25 minutes it will wear off and Numb’s evil cousin, Excruciating Pain, comes in to join the party. Even weirder, after I left the dentist I text Bam to tell her it felt like I had ‘mump face’ (about a year ago, I got mumps, and my face ballooned so much that for 10 days I looked like an extra from The Nutty Professor. Out of all my friends, Bam found it the funniest by far. She even had a picture of my face on her phone) and she was on her way to get a filling too. Freaky. Either that’s a crazy coincidence, or me and my friends just eat too many sweets and ice cubes.

I JUST saw the final episode of Skins afew days ago. For anyone who hasn’t seen it yet, look away now.



How much did you jump when Tony got hit by that truck?!

Allen.

The last few weeks have been all over the place, but I think I’m finally regaining a sense or normality. I think it was with the onset of Spring, it always makes me nervous. Will we have a typical April Showers spring or will the sun finally show his face? And lo and behold, the latter happened, beer gardens have been reopened and I’m happy again.

St Patricks day was a lark. I walked around telling people I wasn’t really that drunk, and truly believed it, when the reality of the situation was that I was absolutely steaming. I went dressed as Ireland and was found fast asleep on the sofa the next morning using my Guinness hat as a pillow and my flag as a blanket. Bless me.

Work was bad, in the sense that I’m pretty sure I was almost fired, but things turned around and I’m still here. But the whole experience left me in dire need of some Big Fat Gemma Hugs, so I went to Chester. We watched the little Mermaid, ate jelly and jaffa cakes and placed 2 toy monkeys into obscene positions whilst killing ourselves laughing. At 2AM, this kind of stuff is hilarious. After watching the Little Mermaid, we watched the documentary about it afterwards (after being completely disappointed by the DVD’s so-called ‘games and activities’ – it was one game, and you couldn’t do anything except sit and look at it) and they kept talking about how for the movie they had to change the original ending. The big dork that I am, I couldn’t rest until I found out what the original ending was, and I found out that in the book Eric doesn’t fall in love with her and the mermaid DIES! How awful! If they had made the film with that ending, me and every other girl who is my age would have spent their early years deeply, deeply traumatised.

Back in Manchester, my sister and Rachel somehow convinced me that going to Zoo with them would be a good idea. I agreed, and was doing fine on the way up there until I walked inside – the DJ was playing *NSYNC and Rachel was desperately trying to convince me to stay, (‘it’s not the music, it’s the people!’) so I stocked up on alcohol at the bar, got blind drunk and ended up having the time of my life (a song they later played). I was so hammered I almost ended up sleeping in my car, but my sister rescued me and I ended up sleeping for about 12 hours in Rachel’s oh so comfy bed.

Around this time, I found out Ryan Adams is playing 2 days after my birthday at Stonehenge. I will be doing everything in my power to be at that show.

Speaking of my birthday, it is now only 9 weeks away. The theme is now officially set and it’s going to be a killer. Keep the weekend of June 2nd/3rd free!

Then afew nights ago, the lovely Nick sorted me and Sam out to go and see Foals again. I LOVE FOALS! They were brilliant, as always. In Nick’s immortal words, watching them play live ‘makes you shit yourself’ as they are THAT good. Apparently they have just blown everyone away at SXSW and the NME is now a good 5 centimetres up their arse so expect to hear lots, lots more about them in the coming weeks. And if you haven’t been to see them yet after all the praise I shower on them, then shame on you. Shame indeed. After Foals had played, The Young Knives came on, and seeing as I hate that band, me and Sam escaped to the bar. I am so glad we did, as about 7 minutes later, the drunkest dude I have ever seen fell off his chair. It was amazing.

Tonight I am going to see Kate Nash. She’s really pretty and talented so it could go one of two ways – I will stay sober and think ‘Wow, good for her’ and really appreciate her talent, or I will get horribly drunk and sit seething with jealousy.

Can I also take this time to say that Incubus are useless for cancelling their entire UK tour due to a ‘wrist injury’. Put a bandage on and get on with it, you big girl!

Also, Glastonbury tickets go on sale this Sunday, so I want everyone to pray for me, Katy and Sophie, as we have to get tickets, as I have to see Ryan Adams and Katy has to see Chemical Brothers or both of us will sink into a deep depression which won’t be pleasant for anyone.

Bangs.

This weekend was entirely uneventful. I’m still ill. Even my deep seated love for mass alcohol consumption had to be put on hold on Saturday night as I just felt like I couldn’t even breathe or walk anymore. I’m sure I’m just in the full throngs of a typical British cold, and that I’m not actually dying, as I thought I was on Saturday, but still, it’s highly unpleasant.

I could feel it coming on all last week, so made the sensible decision to stay home on Friday night. Friday afternoon I went to stock up for said staying in, as I knew I would be in the house all alone so would need some entertainment. I managed to somehow spend £6 on 2 boxes of strawberries in Tescos merely because they were ‘organic’ (by the time I realised I was at the self scan and there was no way I was changing them over then. They also tasted no different whatsoever) and was delighted to see the £5 Ben and Jerrys offer was back on, so stocked up and headed to Blockbuster.

As we all know good and well, I’m a complete film geek. Selecting 3 films to watch over a weekend is a serious challenge for me. It often involves a notepad and the IMDB. Anyway, I decided I wanted to watch films I had never seen before. Step 1 complete. I then decided to go for movies that had been in the cinema, that I had wanted to watch, but had missed. After about 20 minutes, I had A Scanner Darkly and Marie Antoinette in my hand. You get a third free, so I went for Down In The Valley, for two reasons – Ed Norton was in it, and I had never heard of it. I hoped it would be good, paid, and went home. I was completely home alone so started watching them right away, and managed to get through all 3 before midnight.

Marie Antoinette is complete balls. It’s boring and boring and a little more boring. Don’t bother with it.

A Scanner Darkly was good, but marred by the fact that I had absolutely NO idea what the hell was going on. It’s set afew years into the future and 20% of the US population is addicted to a drug called Death, and I was getting it for the first 45 minutes, but then it got weird and I have no clue what the ending was supposed to mean. If anyone has seen it and got it, let me know!

Down In The Valley was fab. A little slow, but great. Ed Norton is this deluded 30-something man who thinks he’s a cowboy. He meets a young girl (Evan Rachel Wood) and they fall for each other. But he gets a little weird and obsessed, and… okay, I was about to divulge the plot but I wont, incase anyone wants to see it. Which you all should.

Anyways, I then fell asleep instantly, leaving the remains of my Phish Food on the table, which had turned to mush the next day. I was devastated.

Saturday I was still alone in the house. I can only stand my own company for so long until I get bored, and at around 3 the boredom had reached high levels so I decided to cut my own hair. It’s pretty uneven all over and no doubt my hairdresser will kick my arse, but it kept me entertained. That night I went out with Gemma, but felt ill again. The rumours are not true, Sambucca doesn’t help a bad throat, so I went home. When I got in I couldn’t even get up the stairs so collapsed onto the sofa, where I then stayed until about 10pm Sunday night, only getting up to put American History X on, as I am in the middle of an Ed Norton ‘thing’ (incase you hadn’t guessed) and it’s also like my 3rd favourite movie of all time. I still cry at the end, even though I know what’s coming. I’m a dork.

ANYWAYS this morning I am back in work. It’s a slow Monday so the internet it keeping me entertained. On my usual visit to IMDB, I noticed a familiar name – Joseph Gordon-Levitt. If you don’t care much for independent cinema, you will probably only know him as that kid from 3rd Rock From The Sun. If you do care, you will adore him for his performances in Mysterious Skin (totally in my Top 20 films of all time) and Brick. Anyways, it turns out he has his own website. To be honest, its kinda boring, but he talks about recording music. Hopefully he won’t get the same slating poor Jared Leto did when he releases a CD. If you’re remotely interested, the web address is: http://www.hitrecord.org/

Well, back to work…

Cough

Last night, me and Clair went to see The Illusionist. It's ace. Definitly go and see it. Edward Norton does all his own tricks. Normally, I would go on about why I thought it was such a good film, but there is a much more pressing issue here - Ed Norton is a total babe feature. I mean, he was grade A man flesh in his Fight Club and AHX days, but they were made forever ago, so it was just lovely to see that even now hes all grown up, he’s still packing heat. He needs to lose the beard, though.

We went to the early show, so were still home in time to see ER and Skins. More man flesh. I forget his name, but the doctor currently romancing that other doctor that was in Bend it like Beckham (I’m really terrible with names) is very pretty. I didn’t really follow the storyline last night though. Partly because I was only half watching it. Anyways, then it was Skins time (is it terrible of me to find Tony fit?? I mean, I know hes only 17 and he kinda sorta looks like Count Duckula, but you still would, right?) - I totally love this show. Although now poor Syd has discovered he cant get it up infront of Michelle, and Cassie has decided shes not having sex anymore AND has a new boyfriend at the mental institution, so who the hell is he gonna have sex with now? Maybe Tony. I mean, he did go down on Matt, so you couldn’t put it past him. Seriously, best TV show ever.

It’s finally Friday, but I’m still ill, so I think it’s gonna be a quiet weekend. Unless Gemma comes home, in which case it’ll be tequilas until dawn.

Rain, rain, go away

I have a cold. It's one of those nasty ones that comes fully accompanied with a bad throat, too. Apparently you feed a cold, but I cant eat. So instead, I'm pill popping and drinking that horrendous lemon water. I really cant wait for summer.

It's self inflicted, though, of course. Yesterday I went into Manchester, in the pouring, freezing rain, without even a coat on. On Friday night, I did the same. Bad, bad Emma.

Friday night was insanely good fun. Me and Sam got the long, gay bus into town (I cant wait to move into my new house, it's like 25 minutes closer to, well, everything) and went into Fab Cafe. Afew hours later, we moved onto Night and Day to see Foals. First, though, was the support band, Bureau, who have a singer that looks like a Morrissey impersonator, and they sound scarily like Duran Duran. Anyways, we saw Nick in there and tormented him as per usual, and before long, Foals were playing. I love Foals. I cant compare them to anyone as they sound like nobody else, although in one song I sometimes hear a litte Q and not U, but Foals are better. They're touring like mad at the moment, so if they come near you be sure to go along. At around 11.30, the set was over and it was time to move onto the house party. Me and Sam waited a little while before we went down, and by the time we got there, there were so many people in the house that they had begun spilling out of the doors and windows. Nick somehow managed to drag us into the living room, where the band were just finishing setting up, and minutes later they started playing, amps and all.

There were seriously about 200 people in the house. By everyones estimations, they shouldnt have gotten through more than 2 songs without the police showing up, but, amazingly, they made it through an entire set. The floor constantly felt like it was going to give way and at one point I heard someone say to a friend 'If we get out of this room alive, it'll be a miracle', but somehow everyone made it through in one piece. After they had played, everyone resumed drinking. There was some rave going on downstairs, but if I stayed in the living room I was getting free beers, so I found somewhere to sit and got comfy. I was introduced to Jimmy, who was drinking out of a Lion Kind mug and smoking roll ups. The look of sheer delight when I offered him a regular cigarette was hilarious. It pains me to watch people fiddling around with roll ups when its not by choice. I also told him that Lager and Lipstick would be ready to go on tour with them in 6 months. A little presumtious, I'm sure you'll agree. Pretty soon, I was out of alcohol and people were leaving, so everyone said their goodbyes and me and Sam went home and slept for Britain.

I have to also add in this conversation I had at the party with someone who's name I have already forgotten:

Guy: So how do you know Nick?

Me: I met him on the Nightmare of You tour.

Guy: Ah, I see. Nightmare of You, what are they, like some metal band?

Me: (laugh) No. Far from it. They have abit of an 80's British sound. Think Smiths.

Guy: Oh right, sorry, the name totally threw me!

I found that so funny. Maybe they should record a Megadeath cover just to keep people on their toes.

Music is my hot hot sex

Confirmed support for Cansei De Ser Sexy's next Manchester show is Tilly and the Wall and RAT:ATT:AGG. This news made me delirious with happiness as I love both bands. It reminded me how much I hate the band name RAT:ATT:AGG, though. I prefer to refer to them as STUPIDEST:BAND:NAME:EVER. Whatever happened to keeping things simple, like The Smiths or The Cure. The only band name I can think of that is more odd than RAT:AT:AGG is the band !!!. I mean, come on. I believe it is pronounced Chk Chk Chk, but as I am not fluent in Egyptian I wouldnt even know how to pronounce that. I sometimes have half a mind to form a band, with no conventional instruments being played, substituting the bass guitar for a roll of cellophane and the drums for a running tap. We would call ourselves %^$""(), which would be pronounced by whistling twice.

Grrrrr

From harpmagazine.com:


Ryan Adams reportedly has his 959th album completed and is eyeing a June 5 release date. It’s to be titled Easy Tiger, and while in the recent past Adams has posted a smorgasbord of diverse and unusual (hip-hop, soul, disco, punk, psychedelic) tracks on the official Ryan Adams website under the fake names Were Wolph, DJ Reggie, Rhoda Rho, the Ghetto Birds and the Shit, at present there’s no indication what form Easy Tiger will take.
In a statement issued awhile back, Adams commented on his seemingly non-stop musical output, saying, “I probably should have took a break, but I don't know. I take a break for a couple of days, or a week, and I start playing. You lose stuff along the way, like girlfriends, your mind, your sense of entitlement. It's very humbling."
Er, right. Theoretical matters of quality control aside, it’s always inspiring to see a musician who’s willing to put his artistic ass on the line and give his muse free public reign. Easy Tiger will be Adams’ fourth album in two years, following 2005’s Cold Roses and Jacksonville City Nights and 2006’s 29.

Hooray!

"I'm a Smiths fan, circa 1986"

I have successfully managed to break the crap out of my camera. My lovely, brand new camera. I shouldnt be allowed to play with expensive toys. First drop - Night and Day cafe. Screen breaks. Second drop - Satans. I apparently fuck up the pixels. I'm completely useless. See, this is why I am never having children.

Regardless, I am still using it. Miraculously, it still takes photos. So when I was stood losing my mind at the front of the Tokyo Police Club show last night, I took tonnes. I'll Flickr them later. The singer looks like this:

I had to post that to prove to everyone (especially Sam) that the singer really is the bastard love child of Danny Jones and Johnny Borrell. Hopefully without a pinch of the arrogance. The show was perfect. It reaffirmed my faith that sometimes, the people who recommend new bands to me really know what they're talking about. They opened with Cheer It On, which was genius, as they then officially had the room hooked for the rest of the night. Live, they sound exactly like they do on CD. Such an incredible talent, especially considering the singer doesnt even look like he has reached the latter end of puberty yet. The show was completely sold out, much to the genuine surprise of the band, proving yet again that us Mancunians are the best people in the world at fishing out the best new bands. It also proves that word of mouth is spreading like wildfire for this band, and it probably wont be long until they are selling out the Academy. The crowd were eating out of the palm of their hands, with a bunch of guys even starting a circle pit. A circle pit! In the Night and Day! It was just excellent. Tokyo Police Club are just so undeniably brilliant that there is no way you can have anything but a great time at their show. If that review isnt enough to make you look them up, go and have a listen to their music here: http://www.myspace.com/tokyopoliceclub.

Yesterday also marked a historic occasion - little Nicky 'my face hurts because I'm smiling so much' Vernon turned 21. On Tuesday night, we all surprised her in Font Bar, dressed head to toe in 80's gear, and then took her to Billie Rox (but not before some drunk crackhound had harassed Jenna outside Spar - apparently wearing a Frankie Says Relax tee-shirt means that her name is Frankie and that she sleeps with her head under a pillow whilst writing poetry about boys. True story). Once inside, we exchanged our shoes for roller boots and got skating. Gems and Lindsay got abit cocky and were doing spins and everything, while I decided to play it safe, and wouldnt go on the rink unless I had someone on either side of me to hold my hand. Diane kept trying to re-enact that Jessica Simpson video. Gemma fell over, and would show anyone who would look her grazed knees at any given opportunity. Nicky burnt a hole in my tights, so we ripped it to make it bigger and then made one on the other leg 'to even things out'. Warwick fell over. Gemma broke Robs gun. We had two Pat Sharpe lookalikes in the form of Vinnie and Alex. Everyone had the best time. There's no way you can have a bad night if you're dressed like an 80's throwback and wearing roller boots. There were even poles up on a stage, which we took full advantage of. Later on, I found an unopened bottle of wine on our table. Assuming some invisible man had put it there for our pleasure, I asked the barstaff to crack it open for us and within minutes the entire bottle was gone. Wine always tastes better when it's free. We then went for some dirt food, and then got a taxi home, during which time Diane kept everyone entertained with stories about Brazillian waxes and lesbians who work as mechanics. I think Diane spoke more in that taxi home than she has done in her entire life. Briliant.

I got home, and rather than do the sensible thing of going to sleep, I decided to watch some TV. Skins was on E4, so I got comfy. I am completely invested in Skins now. I thought the first episode failed to live up to the hype, and pretty much wrote it off, but I keep finding myself watching it every week and now I LOVE it. I love Cassie. And Tony. I have improper thoughts about Tony, which is pretty wrong considering he's only 17 and I was in college when I saw him play that kid in About A Boy. But whatever, he's nice to look at. I also love Syd. He's bound to lose his virginity by the end of the series, and I'm dying to know if it's going to be with Cassie or Michelle. I hope it's with Cassie. I want them to get married. Anyways, in my drunken state I ended up watching the same episode twice (good old E4+1) and fell asleep somwhere between 4 and 5. I woke up to see Sambuca stood on my stomach purring away at 9.30am. That damn cat. When she's awake, you're awake, and she'll hear no different.

So that was my week. Tomorrow I'm going to see Foals, who are another great band people need to hear. They're on at the Night and Day and it's only £5 admission so get yourselves down there. Tomorrow is also Friday, so I shall be celebrating with copius amounts of alcoholic beverages. I love Fridays.

I got bored of MySpace again.

It fucks up alot. Countless times I press 'submit' only for that god awful 'Sorry! An unexpected error has occurred' to be displayed, much to my annoyance. I have a pretty short fuse when it comes to the internet. So from now on, my random musings will sit here. Enjoy.