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What are you doing on Tuesday night?

Those lovely Registered Sounds folk have provided an answer to that question, as they are putting on an awesome show for us gloomy Mancunians next week:

Tuesday, 21 October 2008
Registered Sounds:
Jim Noir + The Beep Seals + Gideon Conn + Magic Arm
At Manchester Academy (Club Acad)

And best of all – it’s free! I’m going to be there, and if you want to be there too all you need to do is go here and register for tickets. First come, first served, and they’re going fast, so get on it to avoid the heinous disappointment of knowing you could have seen Gideon Conn for free and you missed out. And please don’t turn up on the night expecting to just walk in as apparently, this wont work. The bouncers will politely ask you to fuck off, and you will end up getting the bus home at 8 o’clock, surrounded by freshers wearing neon tutu’s drinking Mickey Finns, riotously singing ‘Naïve’ by the Kooks at the top of their lungs.

The clothing line is out... Ronando's must surely now be imminent

Poor, poor Ronaldo. People really hate him, don't they? He winked at Rooney a billion years ago and noone is ever going to let him forget it. I personally find it fucking hilarious that so many people waste so much of their time despising him, when lets be honest, I'm sure when Ronaldo goes home at night to his enormous mansion, parks the Bentley amongst his fleet of cars and then bathes in a tub full of fifty pound notes, you know he really couldn't care less what Jo Bloggs said about him that morning to the fella who works in Greggs.

Regardless, love him or hate him, he is damn easy to make fun of. And then the guy goes and opens a store like this and gives the tabloid journalists a freakin' field day: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1070993/What-wear--footballer-Ronaldos-boutique.html

The best thing about that article? This line:

The store includes all the essential wardrobe items for a metrosexual Mediterranean stallion.

Thats some damn fine journalism.

In The City write up coming soon...

James Franco smells.

Oh this has made my YEAR

'Does anyone like Bryan Adams?'

I have this really bad problem, where if I’m alone for more than about 8 minutes with nothing to keep me occupied, my mind starts going ten to the dozen. I’ll sit and think about anything. This happened last night when I crawled into bed, only to realise I was wide awake and not ready to sleep, and for some reason the phrase ‘turn over a new leaf’ popped into my mind (I couldn’t tell you why). I thought about said phrase for ages, so long in fact that the word ‘leaf’ lost all meaning completely, and I came to the conclusion that the phrase makes absolutely no sense whatsoever. What is a ‘new leaf’ anyway? And why would turning it over symbolise someone becoming a better person? Ooohhh. I think I’ve just figured it out.

Last night, me and Magee were crawling amongst a few bars in town and decided to go catch a band. We had a look to see who was on, and almost, almost, ended up seeing a band called Strawberry Blondes (they are a punk band and the singer goes by the name of Mickie Stabbs – why we even considered it for more than a second is beyond me). On a whim, I had a last quick look to see if anything else was going on and saw that Travis were at the Ritz. As much as they wouldn’t exactly top a list of my favourite bands I do really love a lot of their old stuff, so we threw caution to the wind and went along. This was a good move, as not only were Travis unexpectedly brilliant (you kinda forget how many great songs that band have), but they had a support act called The Republic Tigers, who are now my favourite new band out of the States. They are VERY good and I urge you to check them out at your earliest opportunity. Me and Mag’s got talking to the singer and he told me a whimsical tale about a time when he was playing video games with RYAN ADAMS (!!) and that Ryan got mad at everyone and made them leave because he wanted to play the video games alone. He was described as ‘kinda weird’. In a way, it only makes me like him more. Anyway, their website is here: www.myspace.com/therepublictigers - Check them out.

Heres their video for Buildings and Mountains - this song is just so... lovely. Listen away.

Cheese + Ronaldo = bad dreams

The other day I was in the posh neck of the woods where I work, and Ronaldo drove past me. It wasn’t particularly exciting, but still, I did go on to tell everyone I know about it so I was clearly a little impressed. Anyways, I was super tired that day and went to bed insanely early and I remembered thinking to myself ‘I am so going to dream about him tonight…’

Cue: one of my oddest dreams yet. It started with me and my sister going to this pool party in the middle of the woods and yep, you’ve guessed it, it was being hosted by Ronaldo. Within minutes of arriving, I lost Vikki, and went into big sister panic mode. I couldn’t find her anywhere so became super brave and went to look for her in the surrounding woods, and that’s where I saw those 3 scary fuckers from The Strangers dumping 2 bodies by some trees. I thought one of them had seen me so I ran away and went to Bob Geldof’s house to hide out. However, suddenly 2 men broke into Bob’s house and starting nicking all his stuff so we went into the garden, where McFly were having a party. I had to babysit these 2 little kids who were creepier looking than Chucky and so after a while I made my excuses and left. For some reason, my parents lived next door so I went there. Then Ronaldo’s mum knocked on the door and said ‘Your sister is in those public toilets’ and pointed at these decrepit loo’s which were in the woods across the road (it was a very strange street). So I go in and there is Vikki. I was super mad at her for disappearing so I hit her with a stick all the way home. We went back to my parent’s house but they were building a conservatory and it had gone terribly wrong so we went to Nandos for some peace and quiet, but I left my purse in there and for some reason went and asked Pixie Geldof to help me find it. And then I woke up.

This is fucking hilarious